


I am holding on to you, boy, in the faint light of the stars

by Oscarjames



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Emotionally Constipated Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Fluff, Hugs and Cuddles, M/M, Stars, a soft kiss, and Arthur being hopelessly in love, incredibly soft and fluffy, lots of description of fire and stars, merlin being nerdy, merthur fluff, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23190643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oscarjames/pseuds/Oscarjames
Summary: Arthur and Merlin, completely in love with one another, probably midnight time. Talking about the stars. Incredibly fluffy because that’s what I like.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 165





	I am holding on to you, boy, in the faint light of the stars

**Author's Note:**

> The title quote is from the song In a River - Rostam, it fits the vibe of the fic quite well if you want to listen to it, no obligation, but it’s a good song.

Merlin and Arthur sit on a slightly damp log by the slowly dying embers of what had once been a roaring fire, neither of them moves in an attempt to either collect more firewood or begin to go to bed. They just sit there, close enough that the air between them is measurably warmer than the air around. They have not spoken a word for hours for they need not, the presence of one another is comfort enough. The dark sky is speckled with pale flecks of white light and the moon is a small waning crescent among them.

“Orion’s Belt.” Merlin blurts our in the silence.

“Hmm?” Arthur awakes from his thoughts and musings, many of which involve the boy sitting beside him.

“Orion’s Belt, it’s very clear tonight, look.” He points up at the sky.”

“Where, which one? I never learnt the constellations.” 

“You never... how? None of them?”

“It wasn’t seen as important. I needed to know how to hold a sword and a mace and a bow. I needed to understand laws and taxes. I needed to learn to be king.” It’s nonchalant and seems on the surface to not matter to him but his eyes are honest and vulnerable, a look saved for his fireside conversations with his closest friend.

Merlin pauses, as he so often does when shocked by the cruelty and violence of Arthur’s upbringing. “I’ll teach you.” His says in a soft and earnest voice. “Look,” He takes Arthur’s hand in his and brings them both up to point at the sky “That, there is Orion’s Belt, those three bright stars in a row. They’re the easiest way to find Orion, you’d like him, he was a hunter.” He looks over at Arthur who is staring at the sky and smiles. “Can you see the sort of abdomen shape and the bow, that’s him. You can see him anywhere in the world, I’ve heard, and he’s one of the easiest to recognise.”

Arthur _is_ rapt, but not entirely in the way Merlin’s wants him to be, he is, instead, mesmerised by the soft light on Merlin’s skin, his animated voice and the eyes that dart around the sky as he names the different stars. He’s like a child, excitable and giddy and purely happy. His joy is infectious.

“Are you even listening?” 

“Yes, of course I am, you just said that that constellation is Sirius, Orion’s dog.”

“No, you numpty, the _constellation_ is Canis Major, Sirius is that star just there, the brightest one, but your right about the dog part. It’s the big one there. See?”

“Merlin, you do realise that I don’t really care about the stars.”

“Oh, alright then, I won’t teach you, I was just trying to be nice.” He sounds hurt and Arthur notices his mistake.

“No, I didn’t mean it like _that_.” He looks at Merlin. “Sorry. I just meant that... the _stars_ don’t matter much to me, well they do, but it’s not the... they aren’t important, because, well, it’s just, it’s you... it’s you that matters really, and it’s you that I want to listen to and learn about and if part of that is the stars then brilliant, amazing, wonderful, absolutely, I’ll spend all night learning the constellations, but that’s not the, that’s not the  important part. Not to me.” He breathes out. “You are.”

And months of hiding and pretending are in the open and it’s all suddenly incredibly frightening. He didn’t really think before saying all that, did he? He just blurted it all out without considering what the consequences could be and being friends with Merlin mattered far more than the romance of it. He couldn’t lose that. If he’d ruined that by not thinking and letting his tired brain do something immensely stupid, he’d never forgive himself.

Merlin wasn’t talking, he was frozen, staring at the fire, its amber light reflected in the blue of his irises, and Arthur couldn’t help but think of how utterly beautiful he looked with the pale orange on his skin and the shadows emphasised and his hair softly messy from a day in the wind and his eyes so completely _blue_. Please, Arthur wishes, don’t let him be offended by this, _please_.

Merlin nods and turns to look at Arthur, whose face is open and defenceless, every barrier he’d built up, completely broken, hopeful and fearful, longingly looking at Merlin with a question in his eyes. “The stars don’t matter much to me either,” Merlin smiles, “It was you that I wanted to talk to really, but stars are much easier to make conversation about than something as big as that. Trivial things so often are.”

Arthur’s head tilts slightly in assent and they both pause, quantifying the gravity of the moment which just occurred, allowing the world to catch up with their nervous, rapid heartbeats and wishful minds. Stopping for a bit to hold and savoir what they both just said, before they’re ready for anything else.

“Can I kiss you?” Arthur asks, his voice quiet in the dark, but completely audible to Merlin, more so than any sentence he’s heard before.

“Yes, I think that would be quite nice.”

They move toward each other and their lips press together, mellow and calm, as the last light of the fire dies beside them. Arthur’s arms wrap themselves around Merlin’s torso, in a hug, pulling him slightly closer. Merlin brings his hands up to either side of Arthur’s face, threading his fingers through his hair, and moving slowly. They hold their lips together, for all the love which they have for one another, grown over the years that their friendship has grown into what now seems to be something else as well. For all the time in which they secretly watched each other’s smiles longingly and aches for one another and joyfully made each other laugh and shared moments by fires and feared that the other wouldn’t return and made fun of one another. All the time in which they fell in love.

Finally they separate their mouths, but remain in their position, holding each other close. Merlin moves forward and buries his head into Arthur’s shoulder, the latter reciprocates and they hug, upon the log in the woods, by the light of the moon, in silence, for who knows how long.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? I hope I didn’t go on about stars too much... I meant to talk more about them liking each other but I, like Merlin, am a nerd who likes astronomy so what can you do? I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
